I’ve Become… 9

I’ve Become 
 
All purpose flavor 
a bit of salt, baking powder 
and an ice cream scoop of manteca
plus plenty of water to make the 
right consistency for the masa.
Flat and round as possible, two or three
minutes on the hot comal,
 
I’ve become… a homemade tortilla 
 
Throughout the years
I’ve become many things in life 
a son
the baby boy
a little big brother 
who is so bright but at the beginning 
was so innocent 
shy 
timid and curious with life.
In life 
can’t deny my Chicano pride.
Never having to gang bang, but having that 
Mas chingon cholo swagger. 
Looks can be deceiving, who would have known,
I’ve become a true convict, a pinto, as the fellow
Burquenos 
homies, call it down here.
It wasn’t planned by me Chale 
I’ve become what my path leads me to
A purpose, an inspiration to others.
I’ve become an experiment for others.
I’ve become an example 
Please I ask you don’t have me make one out of you.
I’ve become something that I’m proud of, not by choice…
a beaner. 
 
~JJ aka JS 
 
I Have Become 
 
When I look back on my life
I could sit here and feel sorry
for myself, and say that life dealt 
me a bad deal.
 
I could blame my
problems on the physical, mental, and 
sexual abuse I experienced as a child 
 
I could say that the
people I hung out with as a teenager 
influenced me and brought me down.
 
I could tell you some sad story,
and play the victim about 
how my life has panned out 
 
But I choose to look beyond these walls,
to look at the positive rather than the negative.
So you ask what I have become…
 
I’ve become a person that looks past the color of your skin.
I’ve become a person that doesn’t let society bring her down
because of their bigotry. 
I’ve become a person who forgives, rather than blames 
I’ve become a person that expresses her pain.
I’ve become a person that 
holds her head held high, when facing adversity.
I’ve become a person who 
refuses to play the victim 
 
“I’ve become a survivor!”
 
~DD 
 
I’ve Become 
 
I’ve become another statistic of an 
environment I claim home. Sad to say
I’m more afraid to go home to a full house of 
family but a heart of nothingness
due to a self-inflicted tragedy 
I call myself.
My life starting over 
from under the supervision of another 
I’ve become unserving of myself ’cause 
of all the flaws I have
In a perfect world 
in some’s eyes 
my heart covered in scars 
my arms in tracks 
all the pain I’ve given
that I can’t take back
It’s easy to say 
what I’ve become 
but seems hard as fuck to remember 
any good things I’ve done. 
I’ve become a 
liar, a cheat, a thief, slash drug addict 
What a son…
Well, I’m at the bottom now looking up
haunted by the sound of a key
look what I’ve become. 
 
~SMS
 

9 comments

  1. JJ aka JS
    I love, love, love the refernce to becoming a tortilla! I grew up watching my Gramma and mama making homemade tortillas and it is such a big part of who we are!

    “I’ve become what my path leads me to
    A purpose, an inspiration to others.”

    These two lines hold so much power. Never forgetting who you are, that we all serve a purpose.
    SVT

  2. DD
    “I choose to look beyond these walls,
    to look at the positive rather than the negative.”

    Knowing we all face bad times, yet still having the ability to retain hope is one of the greatest feats imaginable.
    SVT

  3. SMS
    This one hit home for me because it was like I could hear my cousin’s voice reading it. I saw him in your words and they hold so much depth.

    “I’m more afraid to go home to a full house of
    family but a heart of nothingness
    due to a self-inflicted tragedy
    I call myself.”

    He said something like this once. I can feel the strength of emotion in your piece. Sometimes no one understands the feelings we have, except a paper and pen. Keep writing, find your peace in your words.
    SVT

  4. I really loved this piece! This is so empowering and great to see how someone evolves past their troubles. My favorite part is the ending:

    “I’ve become a person who
    refuses to play the victim
    ‘I’ve become a survivor!’”

    – AN

  5. This rhyme is really great!:

    “my heart covered in scars
    my arms in tracks
    all the pain I’ve given
    that I can’t take back”

    I actually really like restating the prompt at the end of the piece. It emphasizes a serious self reflection on their life, which is the point of the prompt. This whole poem answers it well:
    “Well, I’m at the bottom now looking up
    haunted by the sound of a key
    look what I’ve become.”

  6. I really enjoyed reading this piece by SMS.
    Twisted descriptions, great methaphors. The author played with the words, and owned the poem. the truth was told in a blunt way but very poetic
    GPL

  7. SMS,

    I love the flow of your poem and the reality of the honesty of what things the author has encountered throughout their life. really portrays a certain sense of decency within the context.

  8. SMS,
    I’m in love with the truthfulness and realness of this poem.
    It’s flow and words are are smooth.
    It has a very catchy beginning, “I’ve become another statistic of an.”

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