If Only… 1

If Only
If only I could say my goodbyes
While I was doing time sitting
Here wondering if only I could’ve
And should’ves run through my
Mind like a marathon wondering
When ‘dis shit stops I feel
Sick like I was on a merry-go-round
That just didn’t stop
Wonder when I was going to
Cop my next fix wondering if
Only I could stop ‘dis beast
Inside of me my mom’s crying
Wondering if only I could get
My son back off of that black
Tar heroin if only if only…
What if I did get off ‘dat shit
I would be ‘da best man God
Intended me to be Oso sweet
Helping peeps on ‘da streets
To get them on their feet.
If Only
If only live weren’t so lonely
if homies stayed homies fuck all the phonies
If only I chose a different path
Than looking behind at the path from the past
And blaming others for any faults as I laugh
Can’t life be different I think so different as it passed
But no it is late I feel like I’m in dead last.
Killed by my thoughts like I’m stuck in the past
If only if only I could go back in time
Change what I did and make my life mine.
If only if only we could rewind time.
Change what we are and have peace of mind.

One comment

  1. MB- Your poem hits home since this is an issue so many in New Mexico face. Your words help to capture the living history of the area.

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