My Grandparents were Awesome people, they helped others if they needed it. I learned the language (Diné) to communicate with my grandparents.
My Grandma taught me a lot of things. She taught be how to make bread, cook. She didn’t speak English, but she kind of understood if I used hand language. Grandma told me one day, “Remember this, always make sure you feed everybody in your household, don’t be lazy. And treat your man good and he will treat you better. When the sun comes up it’s time to get up, always fix your bed so you won’t be tired. When the sun goes down don’t be mad, it’s not good.”
My Grandpa spoke a little English, I understood him. He asked me one morning, “Yazhíí (little one), do you know how to fix tires? or check your oil?” I said, “no.” He taught me how to fix tires, and check my oil every morning before I start my engine. He used to say the women’s place is in the house with the children, and the man’s place is outside and working for his family. He told me to remember this, and “don’t let no man put a hand on you.” My Grandparents are both resting in peace, not a day goes by that I don’t miss them. I still do things the way they taught me to this day. The things they taught me I will cherish and remember this.
I remember this,
looking around this
shallow brick walled cell
I lay, loved by the Lord my God
Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit,
Thinking I was alone for a minute,
even though I’m struggling
on a hold with my 5 cases,
I remain content and sober,
with excitement and joy,
I love you God.
With the sweet silence
knowing you’re all around,
to my new lifestyle
with my journey ahead
minute after minute
thanks be to God
that I ain’t dead.
I remember you Jesus…
Remember me by the memories
we shared together.
Remember me by the one who
first held you, I remember it like
it was yesterday.
Remember when mommy helped you
take your first steps,
you knew you had it in you.
Remember when you asked me why your
chest was different than others?
I said, “It’s different because you’re special,
momma took your heart because she loved
you so much,”
Remember me as a mother
who may have struggled
but remember I never gave up.
Remember me as a fighter,
Remember me as you remember me,
not by what others fill your mind with.
Remember me always please,
don’t forget me.
Momma will never forget you,
remember you’re always
on my mind.
Remember when you first heard you were going
to have a baby sister, you were
so excited. Remember you said,
now our family is complete.
Remember me by my promise
I made to you,
“Mijo momma is coming home soon.”
How I sat and waited for another fix,
another way to numb my suffering.
That only made it worse,
I felt worthless, my hearts was
I felt like I wasn’t important.
All I wanted was to fit in,
yet I realized I was wanting to
be a part of the wrong crowd…
I began to notice my body craving
the desire of being high.
Yet my mind and soul wanted better,
I was in a battle with myself and the devil.
He thought he had me by his hands,
yet he failed to realize that I was much stronger,
wiser and had faith.
It was time to wake up to reality,
and to remember this lesson.
God spoke to me, he said “The full effects of my
salvation is closer, the dark nights of evil are nearly over.
I must get rid of the works of darkness.
I was becoming more and more evil,
gave myself to God to live right…
I was saved,
given another opportunity.
Remember this evil is right
next to me,
waiting for a moment,
I’m smarter, stronger.
that and the other,
my little brother.
Lost him 3 days ago
Couldn’t let go of the needle,
it made him feeble
Blowing bud up his sleeping nose
when he was 10 years old
Throwing up west gate locos,
sneezing rezin mocos.
Was I his gateway drug then
Forcing meciline, shrooms, acid
Two lunatics, doing tricks
On our huffy’s down
Ain’t this a bitch,
I warned him so many times,
kicked his ass out, so he
was on the grind.
Look, he followed in my footsteps,
been locked up with me for the
last 10 months,
They let him out after he
did the 12 steps,
letting him out, where the fucked up,
in the end he was my only friend,
my little bro D,
no good is what he was always